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Archive for May, 2009

Press vs. Politics

May 17th, 2009 Big Al No comments

If you haven’t heard anything about the whole expenses row in Parliament then you must be deaf-blind or something. For those people, there’s basically a huge ordeal about British MPs claiming funds they’re not entitled to; primarily regarding MPs living in Outer London claiming allowances for a second home in the centre of London. There is a huge question mark over whether MPs should be claiming funds for a second home, period. But the main issue in the limelight is MPs claiming for houses that are already paid for, as well as a few other instances where they’re not entitled.

Not long ago Eric Pickles MP, Chairman of the Conservative Party, was a guest on the BBC show Question Time with Jonathan Dimbleby. Not surprisingly the issue of allowances was brought up by Jonathan and various members of the audience. I found this quite amusing:

Well, you get the idea. It was also mentioned by another MP on the panel that most MPs do not claim this allowance even if they are entitled to it, stating that the hours of Parliament have actually changed and the doors now close earlier, meaning that a second home is no longer necessary.

However, the press obviously caught wind of this a while ago and, as per usual, blew it completely out of proportion. Every day we’re hearing about this MP and that MP claiming when they’re not entitled, and some have resigned, and others repaid the debt. Of course, the press interviewed members of the Public and all they seem to think about is “are we going to get a refund in the way of lower taxes?” Do these people actually realise the sheer volume of money involved in taxes? Do they really think it’s going to make such a huge difference to them? It probably doesn’t amount to a penny per head. Another is likening it to petty fraud whereby members of the public may be imprisoned for tax avoidance, etc. the popular opinion in the press seems to be that the same should happen to MPs.

Anyway, the question I’m trying to portray is does this really matter in the great scheme of things? Politicians are usually there because they’re good at what they do, and they’ve proven it in their local constituencies. Is imprisoning them for this kind of petty issue really the right resolution? Seriously, compared to what’s going on in the UK country-wide, and worldwide, it really isn’t that big of a deal! There are much more important issues we should be tackling. I’m not really going to go into what I think here. I think it’s easy for people to realise there are far more unjust things going on that we need to be working on.

I’ll just leave you with this video of a BBC journalist who collared the genius of Stephen Fry and asked him about the whole ‘scandal.’

Categories: Money, Politics Tags: ,

Mystery Texter

May 14th, 2009 Big Al No comments

Sunday, 13:37. I’m minding my own business when my phone beeps.

“U briten up my day 2 lol xoxo”

Ugh… I hate txt spk. Anyway, I text back saying “Who’s this?”

“Danielle hus dis”

I don’t know any Danielle, apart from one girl from school I’ve got on Facebook but not spoken to since I was about 12, and I don’t think she has much of a reason to text me.  I explain that I’m Alan, and get the obligatory “sory . . Didnt mean 2 txt u” and so I think nothing more of it.

Well, later I get a another text…

“Hey ;) xoxo”

Um… okay. I understand people make mistakes, but twice in a day is a bit odd… but I correct her anyway – “Still Alan ;)

“I no ;)

FFS, learn some english! Anyway, I’m bored so I ask who she is.

“Its a mystery. . . Where u from?x”

I explain I’m from Bradford, and return the question.

“Newscastle. . . Wanna get dwn n dirty?”

Haha… Well, that takes me back a few years when everybody was cyber-sex mad, and I’d sit there explaining how I’d accidentally nudged the table and knocked the candle over and set the curtains on fire, to be greeted with some abuse before they blocked me. But… I don’t know anything about this one – for all I know she could be 14. So I ask, obviously. People don’t lie. Do they?

“21 wbu?”

21… explains a bit. It probably explains she’s 17 or something. I tell her I’m 28. No point in lying here. She carries on.

“Send me a dirty txt!”

I want to be in charge of this conversation… I don’t want to be merely an entertainment device for a group of mates, so I tell her.

“No . . Im on my own plz”

It’s not enough for me, so I tell her to set the scene. Could be interesting…

“Alone in a club. In da bathroom.. … Wot would u do 2 me when u find me?”

Alone in a club? What kind of scene is this? Erm… “Sounds like a shit club to me…”

“Amateur!”

I must be really bored to have transcribed this. Sorry.

Categories: Humour, Social Tags: ,